My dear Liv,
I’m delighted to see that I’ve managed to give you the kick up the rear to resume blogging. We should make this a regular thing – for you, it’s an incentive to blog, and for me, it’s a substitute for never seeing you.
I agree, you are an irresponsible idiot. But so am I, and that’s why you’re my wingwoman. Likewise, I’ve done very little Poetry revision – a move that I’m seriously regretting, because I made such a cock-up of the first exam. And now, instead of revising, I’m talking/typing to you. Sigh. And listening to Radio 4.
It was my Year 11 Leavers’ video/shirt-signing/hoodie thing today, and I was mulling over how long we’ve been friends. Ten years, and we were only at the same school for one of those. Ten years of you eating nothing. me eating everything, and my mum attempting to fatten you up. I miss you. You’re the only person who knows everything about me.
RE: candles. I don’t like them. The scent makes me sneeze, and I’m more than capable of burning the house down. And so are you.
RE: your new ‘about’ page. Good photo choice – at least you don’t have your breasts hanging out, like you did at the weekend. Why have you called yourself Olivia? No-one calls you Olivia, apart from when I’m trying to catch your attention and I call you by your full name. You also forgot to mention that you have really crappy hayfever, are really grumpy in the mornings and are very touchy-feely. You’re welcome.
So get your act together love, and get some revision done. Otherwise you’re not going to get a job, will end up living penniless and hungry in a cardboard box, until I decide to take pity on you and take you in, like a little Victorian orphan.
I give you all this advice, and I’m not even taking heed of it. I’m going to resume talking to you-know-who, and pray fervently that AQA are in a good mood.
Good luck my favourite smol bean! x
This was written in response to this post by my right hand woman Livi, and will probably become a regular feature. To give y’all some background knowledge, we’ve been best friends (and by best friend, I mean she’s practically my wife) for ten years, and I’ve followed her around three counties, five schools, and six houses.