With the recent barrage of Greek tragedy-related posts (which have surely delighted your feed), I decided to lighten the atmosphere with a little comedic personality test. Think of the ‘What does your preferred sex position say about you?’ ads that you see on Facebook, but better.
1.In a chair, with your legs on top of another chair/desk/stack of books/small child.
I’m sat like this right now, mainly because I’m in a cramped spot and have nowhere else to put my feet. If you’re sat in a similar fashion, I’d guess that you’re a) tall, b) every cleaner’s worst nightmare, c) so darn lazy that you can’t be bothered to move elsewhere, or d) want to make the most of younger relatives. I’m all four.
2. Sat in an ‘aesthetically pleasing’ area (think sunny garden, hipster coffee bar), with the latest ‘popular’ book in one hand, and your phone in the other, so you can flood your social media of you being ‘intelligent’ or ‘artsy’.
If you’re a bookstagrammer or blogger, way to go. There have been many times when I’ve thought ‘HOLY GUACAMOLE I HAVE NO PHOTOS’, and rushed to take a photo of whatever book I have at hand. If you don’t fit any of these categories, I’m sorry. I don’t care what you’re reading, and stop being so self-centred to think that anyone else cares, either. Many thanks.
3. Walking. Nose deep in a volume thicker than my arm.
I have only ever seen one person do this in reality (after whom I shouted ‘marry me’), but it’s pleasant to entertain the notion that there is someone else out there who also does this. I can’t, because I still don’t have the brain cells to push a door clearly labelled ‘pull’. I’m guessing if you’re doing this, you’ve got great spatial awareness (well done you, please teach me your mysterious ways), and it’s likely that you can’t tolerate other people, preferring to immerse yourself in a fictional land. #whyareboysbetterinbooks
4. While eating.
Guilty as charged. In the mornings, I never have the time to treat reading and breakfast as separate activities, so I combine them both into a dangerous game of ‘How many crumbs will it take to cover this page?’. If you read while eating, I reckon that you’re a busy little bee, or prefer to, once again, decline the option of human contact by being buried in a book. And if you manage to not spill any food, I congratulate you. I once dropped a Nutella-covered croissant over my book and a white shirt, so I am fully prepared to worship a being such as yourself.
Do you have any other preferred reading positions? In bed? Driving (actually, no, that’s dangerous. If you’re reading this in a car, FOR GOD’S SAKE put me down and FOCUS ON THE ROAD)? Drop me a line!