Most of you probably think that I’m a recluse who lives surrounded by books and only ventures out for the occasional art gallery exhibition and theatre production, and in that sense, you’re very right. But I’m a person! I’m alive! I go to school! I have friends! Genuinely!
You also probably don’t know that I help edit and write for my school magazine, and despite the fact that this entails human interaction, I haven’t strangled anyone thus far. I’ve only done two issues, but considering the fact that my irritation-o-meter explodes if anyone breathes near me, I’m rather impressed with myself.
I’ve had friends who don’t have a school magazine be rather impressed. It shows that, if bribed, I will actually write something. It shows that I care about my views, even if they are limited to raging about gender equality in the theatre industry and the extortionate prices of clothes in certain shops. Although I have probably insulted a few people (it’s doubtful, however, that the board of the Globe will ever get their hands on it, thank Christ), I must admit that being savage and sarcastic and generally angry is something that I rather enjoy. Yes, it’s hectic when there’s a year 9 who can’t write for shit but thinks that they can (and no-one is quite sure how to tell them so) and there’s a deadline in TWO DAYS and your teacher HUNTS YOU DOWN when you’re in a history lesson AND HE ASKS FOR DATING ADVICE (‘how many texts is it acceptable to send in a row?!’) AND at least 80% of the conversations are unrelated to the content, but it’s ALL ABSOLUTELY FINE.
Imagine it as Basil Fawlty being confronted with a coach-load of grannies to stay for a week. There’s the same amount of swearing, cock-ups and ‘why am I doing this when I have yet another bloody essay to write’.
What saddens me a little is the fact that once the current team and I have upped sticks to university (or in my case, ideally a small London pad where someone employs me to write utter bull and I can stay in my pyjamas all day), there might not be a magazine any more. The youngest member is the aforementioned year 9, who is slightly odd and terrifies the rest of us. Why is no-one else writing? The team are sixth-formers, we will be released into the working world in just under two years, and still manage to get a magazine out (nearly) on time. The rest of you only have GCSEs and canteen food to look forward to.
I love it, I really do. But the Tuesday night moaning and gossiping and culinary bribery may be no longer.
It is I, back again, alive and kicking. I’m currently writing a comedy podcast thing, hence the radio silence. Merry Christmas! x x